Friendship

Hey! This one-word series is one of my most faves but I think doing it weekly isn’t quite as feasible as I’d hoped. Life is full of the ‘stuff‘. Ya know? For all of us. I was listening to a podcast earlier cause I jumped all over that trendy podcast bandwagon and I am LOVING it. For a while, I was listening to more business related podcasts and getting all the inspiration and lessons on how to grow and get better. Then I switched gears and started listening to stories. Things like Oprah and Jen Hatmaker. Sometimes I am so filled up by the real-life stories. I literally find myself typing quotes into my phone notes as I am listening. Nuggets y’all. You never know where you might find them.

On today’s walk, I was listening to Jen Hatmaker and Kelly Corrigan which was hilarious – you should know that. I was literally walking the dog down the road and belly laughing at some of the stories. One of my favorite things that I heard Kelly say was something she heard from an acquaintance as she was talking about some of the hard things in her life. Are you ready? She was told, “It’s like this.” That’s it. I scratched my head for a minute trying to process it and then the lightbulb happened. It’s simple. Don’t over think it because it’s like this. You don’t get to control all the things. Don’t try. Trust me. It takes too much effort and you don’t usually win. Life is full of moments – that’s how it is. See, a little nugget right there.

Today I wanted to talk about friendship. I have a lot of years of experience in this field. I am basically a professional. Really. I am also sarcastic. Please know this while reading any of my ramblings. Insert sarcasm and it will all make more sense. Maybe. OK – but seriously, I can think back to so many years of friendship. So many beautiful and poignant moments. So many hard and heartbreaking moments as well. Relationships, in general, come with so many highs and lows because that is real life. It’s never blissfully perfect and if it is, you’re a liar. #sorrynotsorry But really, we can’t appreciate the up moments if we don’t feel the lows in all the areas of our life, right?

So let’s talk friendships and what they bring to our lives, shall we? For me, I couldn’t function without the ladies in my life. I have guy friends too and let me tell ya, they are rad. But the ladies bring something different to the table. Men often times don’t get my mini-meltdowns and when I cry, I scare them. Usually. There are long blinks and awkward silence if I start to lose my shit in front of my guy friends. I should also state that they will also give me a hug. So there is that. But my lady friends? Damn. These girls just show up. I adore the beautiful women that have stood beside me over the years. Here’s the thing, not every friendship is a #bff type thing. Some friends are here for a season or two and that’s ok! There doesn’t have to be some big fallout. Sometimes the seasons comes with life seasons. Maybe you have kids in school together, maybe you work together, maybe you are in a book club together, maybe you met through mutual friends, maybe you are neighbors. I have met some of the most awesome ladies that stood by me through a season. We might have drifted in the day to day but we send the Christmas cards, have the occasional coffee date, celebrate a birthday together or connect via social media.

Some of our friends have been there forever. Since childhood even. I am still lucky to have some of my besties from high school as part of my circle. I’m almost 45 by the way so you do the math. That is some serious longevity. One of my oldest and dearest friends and I had a bit of a falling out and it lasted over 5 years. I was sitting in some serious hurt and then one day, I decided it was enough. I reached out over a year ago and we met for coffee. We picked up where we’d left off and we didn’t look back. The break had changed us both yet we were still the same. We knew each other’s past like so many of our new friends never could or would. Now that friend and I are both dealing with some major adulting struggles but we’ve got each other to lean on. It’s actually awesome. Not the struggles but the rebirth of our friendship at a time where we can be there for each other through the really hard stuff. It took that time for us to come back around and be present in a new way. Our friendship isn’t an everyday thing. It’s checking in via text. It’s long breakfast into lunch dates. It’s easy in a whole new way.

I have to give a little ok a BIG shout-out to a whole other level of friendships. The sisters. This also includes the sisters-in-law. My sisters and my sis in laws are just the best. I am so lucky that I gained sisters through marriage on both sides. Seriously. These ladies are in my forever friend circle. Stressed? Call the sisters. They get it cause they are living so much of life with you. That is where the whole history and longevity comes in. They just know all.the.things as well as where most of your stories began.

Sometimes when life is messy and hard, that can change how a friendship feels as well. It doesn’t mean that the friendship ends. It just might mean that it changes course – for now. That is ok too. Maybe you don’t know how to talk to your friend cause life is messy and they don’t get it. Or maybe they don’t know how to be around you because they don’t get it. That was redundant but it goes both ways. It doesn’t mean that the love is lost. It’s just different. I have seen this a few times over the years. Both for myself and with others. I’ve seen it most when there is a loss. People don’t know what to say so they avoid you or say something really awkward and uncomfortable – for all parties involved. I guess what I am saying is through these hard seasons of friendship, just pause for a minute. It’ll either come back around or fade out.

Friendships evolve, they change and sometimes they fade away. I can think back to all of my besties – elementary school, middle school, high school, after graduation, as a new mom, as a mom of toddlers, school-aged kids, in the teen years, etc. I know you hear me. We have all had so many seasons of friendship. Some last, others don’t and that is ok. Hold on to your friends, if even only for a season. Embrace what they bring to your life and how you might enhance theirs. Love big and find the beauty in all those that cross your path and let go of those that don’t work too. We aren’t all meant to be besties and that’s ok. Find your tribe and love them hard.