Shut Your Mouth

Hey there! Well, I’m back at it. You know, the vomiting of my feelings. You guys, life is so freaking hard. Just when I think things have settled down, the shit show starts back up. Honestly, my life is pretty vanilla (which I prefer) but the big teenager has brought a lot of drama to the home-front. Mostly when he thinks he’s independent and leaves for days on end. That is not my real purpose of this post but it’s one of the many layers to the ‘teenage onion’ as I call it. So why am I telling you to shut your mouth? It seems a bit rude but keep on reading and you might get why I am a little bit fired up. The F bombs are a plenty these days so parden my French.

My big kid – he is this amazing, charismatic, handsome, funny guy. He’s also going through some major stuff. He got in a bit of trouble last month. We are navigating it and it’s personal. However a few other adults know about the situation. One of these adults – who happens to be the dad of his ex-girlfriend who NEVER took the opportunity to get to know his daughter’s boyfriend in the year they were dating, blasted the info to another parent who then unleashed on my kid. Basically kicking him when he was down. How is someone supposed to rebuild and do better when someone is basically spreading the word that they are a piece of shit. Dude. My inner mama bear is raging.

There is a chance that I will bump into this parent and I will (as calmly as possible) explain that he should, ‘shut his mouth‘. I know that there are plenty of grown ups who don’t walk the walk. I feel bad for them. Well, irritated too. Here’s the deal, parenting is hard. The hardest actually. Adults feel like they deserve respect. Yeah, they do but so do all humans!!! As an adult, you should lead by example. Treat people how you’d like to be treated. Kids included. Recently, our lovely neighbor didn’t like my teens music. He yelled, “Turn your fucking music down!” over the fence. Are you kidding me?? What is wrong with people? Talk about a lack of maturity (and why I sometimes want to move to the country). How about working on building relationships? Making a difference? Leading by example? Being a role model?

Here is how I see it, my neighbor has a young son. He will likely challenge his parents as he gets older. His parents will have to pick their battles but they will always love their kid. They will want to protect him from all the evils in the world. They will likely not be happy if a rude neighbor yells profanities over the fence at their kid. The dad of my son’s ex-girfriend? He’s a dad of two. His daughter (whom I actually care very much about) also has her own messy stuff. I don’t blast it to the world! That would be unfair and humilating. It also might create negativity which her (and most emotionally fragile teens) do not need. Human kindness. It’s a basic thing people. So when you feel like slamming another person, telling a story about them that is not yours to share, pause – think about it. Is it productive? Harmful? Actually, is it any of your fucking business? If not, move on. Share your business. If it’s not your story, don’t share it.

“You are what comes out of your mouth.” – unknown