Would You Say That IRL (IN REAL LIFE)

Hey friends. So I’ve been thinking. I know, I know — that can be a slippery slope 😉 Ha. I kid. But seriously, a recent text from a friend followed by a conversation with my 17-year-old brought up something that’s been on my mind and I promise you, I’m not alone. I’m starting to wonder if people are just broken from the onslaught of social media access. Now here is my question, would you say what you’d type on a social media platform to someone’s face? I feel like most would save the extra snarky and mean comments from coming out of their mouth IRL (in real life).

We are in the thick of one of the ugliest political elections we’ve ever witnessed. We are in the midst of a pandemic where rules are changing daily. Kids are doing school in a weird way. Adults are working from home. Our typical social outings have been squashed. Nothing feels normal. So what happens when there aren’t positive distractions? People get extra chatty. The air feels more charged and negative. Now I am not saying that everything is bad. I see a lot of positive too but we are in a different season and people are emotional.

I’ve had a few run-ins with NextDoor. In an awful kind of way. I’ve had someone create damaging stories about my son under a fake account. I had a neighbor create her own version of my child instead of walking two doors down to discuss in person. These two incidents hurt my heart and fired up my mind. I made sure that I communicated directly with the neighbor who was all kinds of irrational off-line because nothing good comes from a back and forth in a public forum. Can we also talk about the number of opinions on all.the.things? I’m actually embarrassed to see how quickly people jump on the hate bandwagon with all of the solutions for how to handle a situation that is usually based off on an opinion. Shame on those people for thinking they know everything.

Last week, my oldest son told me about how he was visiting a friend in our old neighborhood. These teen boys have loud trucks with bass. This is not some new thing and aside from it being annoying, if it’s within reasonable hours and not excessive, it’s not hurting you. I promise. It’s honestly cringy to call security in a gated community because you can’t have a face to face with your neighbors. I can also tell you that most of these teens actually respect someone who comes and talks to them with kindness and respect.

I was also talking to a friend who just discovered the world of NextDoor. She was telling me about a hilarious exchange about frogs. Yes, frogs. Apparently a woman was upset that a dad and his son were catching frogs in a local creek. She felt like this was cruel and wanted to express her feelings. Well, folks, I grew up catching and releasing frogs. I was not a frog killer. It started a pretty comical thread with people saying things like #froglivesmatter and so on. Again, why on earth would this topic be necessary to share with all.the.people. I guess it did prove to be entertaining.

Politics: Can this election just die already? I have never in my life seen the level of hate and disrespect that has been circulating. It makes my skin crawl. I’ve got one word, HUMANITY. We are lacking. Now don’t get me wrong, I think so many people at their core want the best for our country but there is a serious case of dirty politics happening. No matter which way it lands, people will be pissed. How on Earth did Kanye seriously make it on the ballot? #icanteven Things are just plain weird. Also, this girl already voted.

The other day I was listening to a podcast with Brené Brown and she said,“People are hard to hate close up. Close up you have to see someone’s eyes and heart.” Think about it. If we took more time to put down our phones, stop feeding the crazy and mean spirited comments, and just engaged in person, I think things would look so different. I think this is the hope for so many of us.

So the next time you see a comment that you think you have an opinion on, pause and really question whether you are an authority on the subject or if you even know the person involved. If you feel fired up and want to attack a political party or person on-line, press that pause button. Is it worth the energy? Often times we don’t have the same conversations online that we’d have IRL.

It seems that this new world we live in that is filled with social outlets isn’t going away. Is there a way that we can circle back to more in-person interaction and less behind the screen berating? If each of us just presses pause on our initial reaction and waits — the tone may soften. I have hope. Let’s work on it together, shall we?