Everything is fine

Hello friends! It’s been awhile. Story of this blog. The posts are few and far between. Today’s post is a whole lot of brain dumping. Why? Cause it’s needed. Kinda like therapy where you just get all the things out. I have feelings and I have a lot of them. Some might share my opinions and others might be like, “whoa, she has a lot of thoughts, I wish she’d be quiet!” My brain is in a constant state of swirling. This world is so freaking noisy. Sometimes the idea of hiding sounds beautiful. Preferably behind a great book while sitting in the shade on a sunny day.

So truth? I am 100% an extrovert and introvert. Is that possible? It sure is! I thrive in both places. I run a shop and I am totally committed to my customers and customer service 3 days a week. The other days? I am good at decompressing and being more solo. I’m OK being alone and I am also great with people. I need time to be antisocial though. Like I pour myself into people but that means I give a lot which is OK cause I care very much about the well being of others. That being said, I can take on the energy that is out there and that can make me emotionally exhausted. I’m also so much more depleted when I deal with harsh people. I know who I am, I know what fills my cup and what empties it.

I will never understand mean people. Never. I think we all might have moments of acting up or out but I also think that for some people, being mean is just the temperature that they run at. The narcissists, the manipulators, the ones who act like people are beneath them, the ones who try and hold power over others. These are not my kind of people. Unfortunately, these people exist. They are unavoidable but I try my best to avoid. Sometimes I have a run in with one of these types of people. I get closer than I should even though I know better. A friend recently pointed out that I am who I am and I love big which is why I let people in. Even when I probably shouldn’t. Sigh. This leads to my heart being mad cause I betrayed myself.

One of my biggest love/hate relationships is with social media. Once upon a time, blogs were our version of social media. You could sign up to get a new blog post whenever they were written. You didn’t subscribe. You didn’t upgrade. It was just that simple. Of course bloggers monetized in their own way by promoting items but it wasn’t quite the influencer situation that we have in today’s world.

I’ve also met some really cool people via social media so it’s not all a bust. But it can be a whole lot. Sometimes too much.

Everywhere we turn, someone is modeling a clothing haul from Amazon (or some other retail establishment), telling us about protein powders or the new vitamin that will make us feel ‘so good’. It’s always something. Always. Sure, sometimes I am like, “damn, I need that sweater” but mostly I am over it all. It’s a noisy world and it’s at our fingertips. We scroll and scroll and scroll. We know we are doing it yet we continue and before we know it, we’ve lost so much time.

Let me also preface that I understand the time that goes into the job of being an influencer. It’s a whole lot of time and energy to create content. A lot of folks are making a good living doing it too. It just doesn’t appeal to me. I feel like I am already ‘on’ enough in just keeping up with my basic business and personal social media feeds.

Then there are the videos our friends send cause they are funny and we are guilty of doing the same but then the cycle just continues and my self diagnosed ADHD is in overdrive. I joke that my attention span is 30 seconds but I think it’s really at 10ish seconds

These days there are expectations to keep up with trends, to create reels and content, to buy things, to subscribe. It is never ending and honestly, it hurts my brain. We are all wired to be ‘on’ all the time. Of course some of us refuse or we limit what we expose our brains too. If someone tells me that they aren’t on social media, I literally high five them and praise them for being so freaking smart! Algorithms are created based off of what we do and don’t like. Even if we liked something just once, something in that realm shows ups continuously. This is either fantastic or really annoying.

Don’t even get me started on the trends. It starts somewhere and before you know it, a million people have done their own reenactment. I get kinda bored. Same thing, different people. Again, I know this might make some people feel attacked or judged but it’s just how I am feeling. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love some of these folks, it just means that I am getting bored by duplicate content.

Last week I reshared a thing on Facebook asking a series of questions about you (as an individual). Guess what? I had more responses than I’ve seen on anything in a while. Probably cause it was easy and fun. It didn’t require watching or making a video or creating content, it was just a fun little questionnaire about things like, ‘whats your favorite food’. People responded. It was a fun brain break that didn’t ask you to buy things or create some perfectly curated video.

You can be active on so many platforms. Facebook, Instagram, Tick Tock, Twitter (is it still called that? Obviously I am not following along), Snapchat, YouTube … the list goes on and on and on. It can be quite overwhelming. Especially for younger generations that don’t know a world before all this noise came along.

Now we have AI. What the actual hell is happening! People are creating advertising for businesses that aren’t creative or authentic. Again, my opinion but I know a lot of folks feel the same way. If we lose our voices or creativity then who are we? Once upon a time we had spell check, now we have a computer that can write things for us. I’m sorry but I just can’t be on board with all of this insanity. As a writer, I want things to be read as though I was talking to you.

This is one of many articles written about AI and how people are viewing it: “More adults predict that AI will have a negative rather than positive impact on them and on society. And majorities think AI is advancing too quickly and will put their personal information at risk.” A simple search of the impacts of AI on our society will leave you with thousands of opinions, articles and quotes. Most of them are not shining the best light on this ‘advance’.

Life is noisy. We have so many media outlets to rope us in whether it’s tv, radio, podcasts, our phones or computers … the list is forever long and the majority of us are invested. I do think that many of us are also tired. I love writing. I love reading a book. I love building relationships and having real life connections with real life humans. Yes, I have made some friends in this weird world of social media but I really do think that real life is so much more well, real and authentic.

So in a world gone viral with videos and selling things, I’ll be doing my best to remain authentic. To show you the real me. To create content that makes you think and engage. While I do have a storefront and therefore I am a sales person, I will never be a pusher. Keeping up with the Jones? Never have and never will. Fanfare and attention? Awkward!

Perspective is a huge thing. It’s easy to play victim. It’s easy to blame people or things but ultimately we can also shift our perspective, mostly. Sometimes life does throw us a shitty curveball. One that we can’t pivot around but maybe even with that we can still find some sparks of joy. Some reason why things are happening. Maybe we just have to sit in the unrest for a minute or more. We’ve had some life stuff lately. Not hard as in we can’t get through it but hard as in we are in limbo in what’s next but I kept telling myself, ‘this is small in the scheme of things.’ A lot of positive self talk with a few emotional breakdowns along the way because I am also human and need to feel the things.

I was listening to a podcast the other day and a thought provoking question was asked and I really liked it! It was on Good Hang with Amy Poehler, the episode with Sandra Bullock who I now call Sandy and want to be my best friend. This was the question asked of her: “when was the last time she thought to herself, does it get any better than this?” Have you had those moments? I know I have. The ones where your gratitude meter is off the charts. I love those little (big) moments.

Recently my friend and neighbor passed away. She was 47 and was fighting breast cancer the entire time we were friends. She was inspiring and the biggest fighter I’ve ever seen. Even at the end. She cherished life. She didn’t want it to end even as cancer riddled her body and she spent all of her moments being unwell. As another friend said, her spirit was fighting harder than her body. Honestly, I feel really mad and sad that she didn’t win the fight she fought so fucking hard for. It feels incredibly unfair that she wanted nothing more than to do this life. To watch her young son grow up. To love her people. To watch the sunrise and sunset

Talk about perspective. My ‘things’ aren’t life threatening. I get to wake up to life every single day. You never really know what distractions life might throw at you but for each day that I am here, I choose to live. To feel the sun on my face. To live my life authentically for me. To show up for my family and friends. To make people feel special and loved. This is my life. AI and social media don’t choose my path, I do. I hope you also find your spark and authenticity in this noisy world.

I’d love to know how you navigate the noise? Are you old school and staying off social media? Do you limit your online time? Do you enjoy a good book? Are you a call or text person?