No

Hey friends! I hope everyone is having a beautiful spring. My allergies have subsided, the sun is shining, the temps are perfect and everything is in full bloom. It is also May. May seems to be the dreaded month for so many parents. Now that I have stepped away from volunteering at my kids’ schools cause they are older, I don’t feel the May Madness quite as bad. I am seeing it through social media feeds, via group chats and in-person with my friends. Meanwhile, I am over here feeling like I survived another day of being a mom to teens and that feels like a win. No matter the day or month.

SAYING NO

No is a mighty powerful 2 letter word. I know that this word is a hard one for so many of us and it deserved a little recognition. It can make you feel great to blurt it out or it can make you full of guilt. I am definitely pretty comfortable saying no. I have a theory, on the saying no thing. If I really don’t want to do something, if I really don’t have the time for it, if I am not going to be able to give at least 80% {100% is a lofty goal in all the things, amiright?}, if it’s way out of my wheelhouse or if it’s going to add a whole other level of stress to what already feels like a crazy life – I say no.

There are exceptions and sometimes we have to say yes. Sometimes we have to swoop in and save the day but mostly, someone else will step in and you can save your energy for something else. Don’t get me wrong, as humans, we are inclined to say yes. We have extreme guilt over saying no. We don’t want to hurt feelings. We don’t want to look like the bad guy.

IT’S TRENDY

Do you know what I am noticing? A trend to say no. We are in a world of feeling oversaturated in our lives. There are always people to see, commitments to make, places to be and things that need the doing. No one person can do everything and if you burn out, then what good are you to those who need you the most? I see this often.

The mom that is just plain exhausted from running the marathon that is life. The mom that says, “yes” to everything. The mom that complains because she is beat. Well, guess what? You have the power to say no! If you think otherwise then you might want to talk with someone who can talk you off of your ledge. Saying no won’t kill anyone. It will free you up if even only a tiny bit. No one will hate you and guess what? When you say no, they’ll likely move right along to the next person and so on until they find their yes.

KNOW WHEN TO QUIT

About two years ago, my husband stepped into the role of union president for his fire department. He had all the enthusiasm and dedication. He worked hard and was an advocate for his union. He worked long hours. It was like a second full-time job and he had to be on all the time. His phone was ringing constantly, he was putting out fires, attending meetings, checking emails all the damn time. His term was supposed to run until the end of this year {he actually jumped in during someones else’s term because they stepped down}. It got to a point where he had done a lot. He felt good about the things he did while in the position but he also got to a point where it was wearing him down. He already has a physically and emotionally demanding full-time job. We also have a lot of stuff happening on the home front and he knew that this position was causing him more angst than it was worth.

Juggling everything was making him feel not as efficient both at work and at home as he’d like to be. He knew that he wasn’t giving 100% and he knew that it was time to step down. I was super proud of him. He is a person with integrity and loyalty. He doesn’t ‘quit’ but he knew it was time to step away. Of course, someone else stepped in as that is always the case. He lightened his mental workload and that my friends is worth so much.

PRACTICE SELF-CARE

I know what you are going to say, “I don’t have time for self-care” Well guess what? MAKE TIME! Even if it is a twenty-minute walk after your kids go to bed. Yes, in the dark. Bring a flashlight. Meditate for 10 minutes. Figure it out! Self-care makes us better people. I get that carving out a little me time is tough but for your own mental sanity {and maybe to save those around you from your adult-sized meltdowns}, follow the words of Nike and Just Do It.

Everyone is busy. EVERY.SINGLE.ONE.OF.US. There is no comparison game here. I have a friend that walks while her kids are at sports practice and that mama has 4 kids! She makes the time. How many of us are sitting in the car waiting for our kids to wrap up a meeting/practice/work? Read a book! Meditate! Call a friend! Do something that is a little about you. Being selfish is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.