Keeping It Real

Hey! So I haven’t been writing via this blog but I have some sidebar writing going on. It’s hard to know where to create and share and where to do so. I know, I’m being a cryptic weirdo. Anywho …

I was thinking (as I so often do) about a few things today. Actually, it all started because I was emotionally purging to my therapist and I said, “Through this journey with Ben, I have changed too”. She asked me how I’d changed. It got me thinking. I do a lot of self-reflecting these days. I have to say that I also feel like being in my mid-forties has brought about some serious growth. I also need reading glasses if you wanted to know the reality of being 45.

These are the things I know and try to apply to life. Some of these things are definitely a work in progress but being aware helps guide me towards more positive choices.

• Pick your battles, the petty things don’t matter.
• Get to know people regardless of what you have heard. I think that forming our own opinions versus believing what others say is important.
• Don’t spread other peoples business.
• Life is short and I want mine filled with people who make me feel good.
• Love your people fiercely.
• Listen to peoples stories.  People need to be heard.
• Once upon a time, I felt like I was an extrovert, now I feel like an introvert most of the time.
• I am easily overstimulated and need to have time to just decompress.
• I have zero tolerance for bullshit, mean people or petty things. Walking away from people who make me feel ‘icky in my tummy’ is ok and actually quite mature.
• Forgiveness is a big deal. Holding grudges isn’t emotionally healthy.
• Emotional health is a necessity. Self-care is crucial to being a healthy person.
• There is always room to grow.
• I am not in control of everything and sometimes I have to ride the waves and roll with the punches.
• Life isn’t always fair and sometimes there are lessons in falling.
• Unsolicited advice and opinions are part of life but As Brené Brown says, “If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback”.
• Not everyone thinks like me so I am working on honoring that even when I get frustrated with how things get handled. For example, I pride myself on being a good communicator and when that is not reciprocated, I get frustrated.
• That now is temporary for all emotions. We are never in one place for long.
• Be thoughtful in what you say. Is it kind? Is it true? Is necessary?
• Love is free but trust is earned.
• That most of my life could be summarized by a compilation of song lyrics.
• Marriage matters. Even when you are in the thick of hard things with kids, someday it will be back to just you and your spouse so always nurture that relationship.
• As a mom, I see my kids to the depths of their core but that doesn’t mean that I can fix the things that are hurting them.
• Sometimes we make bad choices but those choices don’t define who we are.
• Kids aren’t their parents and vice versa. I’ve given my kids values and a moral compass but they will make mistakes, as they are human. This should not be a reflection of my parenting. Those who think it is can kiss my ass.
• Hormones are dumb.
• I now have to play that game where you maneuver reading material like a trombone to make it readable. Hence the need for reading glasses.
• I have a potty mouth and I am not afraid to use it.

I feel like I am constantly evolving. I know have so much to learn. I believe that we are all capable of so much.  Recently I saw a quote on @heidiswapp Instagram that said, “Be a first responder, not a first over-reactor.” Yes! How good is that? So I am trying to take the deep breaths and not overreact.

What season of life are you in? What are the biggest takeaways for you?