Mama Musings

Hey there. It’s a wild and crazy Saturday night in my house. You know, eating takeout sushi by myself and catching up on email while I wait to pick up my oldest from a homecoming party. Truth? I am sitting here crying cause my boy went to his first homecoming tonight. Dramatic? Maybe. It’s not the first tears I have cried as a mom {trust me, I could fill rivers with the happy, worried, guilty, sad and mad tears that I’ve cried over the years. Ha!} Parenting requires a lot of Kleenex. And Bandaids.

Fourteen years ago, actually it’ll be 15 in January, I became a mama. My world changed. Instantly. It’s been a wild ride. It’s been the hardest yet best job of my life. My youngest son is 12. The difference in their personalities it both amazing and shocking. It is also what makes my job so utterly cool. I get to raise these dudes but also learn from them. I have learned so much as a mama and I know that there is so much more that I will learn.

I am an auntie to several littles and the one bit of advice I give my sister and sister-in-law is that it goes really fast. I also tell them that in hindsight, littles are easier. You have so much more control when they are small. As they grow, so do their personalities and their need for independence. Independence is so hard on a mama’s heart but it is vital for them. Really it is. You have to give them wings cause before you know it, they will fly the coop. Ugh. This is where the crying comes in.

We had a pre-planned camping trip so we came home early, with barely enough time to wash the campfire smoke from our hair, get dressed and head right back out the door to take homecoming photos. I don’t feel like I really had the chance to soak it all up cause we were rushing but I do know that he looked so handsome. I had a mama moment where I glanced over at him in the car and almost burst into tears. With love and pride. And a bit of, “OMG, how did we get here?”. It’s flying by people and that is a bit crushing. I am so excited to see what his future holds but if it could just slow down a teeny tiny bit. I didn’t cry though cause in the eyes of my teen, that would have been weird and awkward and maybe totally embarrassing. So I saved up my tears till I got home. Then I cried while looking at all of the awesome homecoming photos of my friends’ kids on Facebook. Cause you know, it felt necessary to get emotional for all the mamas!

One minute, you’ve got a newborn and then you blink and you have a toddler and then they are starting preschool, elementary school, middle school and then boom! Highschool happens and then you hear things like, Class of ’21 and you seriously want to throw up thinking that in a few short years, your ‘baby’ will be an adult. Hold the phone people cause seriously, I can’t even.

I look around and see his friends, turning into men. It’s a little wild to feel small in a sea of kids that you have watched grow up and also the new friends that have come along. They are now starting to look more like men and many of them tower over 5’4 me. The teen years are interesting. Your kids need you less. Well, they act like they need you less. They become moodier, busier and overall they are just a bit more preoccupied. It’s part of the cycle though. Can I tell you something? As hard as it sometimes can be for all of the above reasons, it is also kinda cool and fun. I love that I can banter with my son and his friends. Everyone gets sarcasm and humor at this age. I love seeing these guys blossom into kind and caring young men. I love the humor and seeing their faces light up when I joke with them. It feels fun and real. When your kids are little,  you spend your days trying to be polished and you never want to say the wrong thing. As they grow up, I feel that they start to really discover their true selves.

When I look at my kids I know I have to parent. I have to set rules and boundaries. I have to love hard even when I don’t like them because they aren’t being nice. I have to encourage their success. I have to listen when they talk. I have to encourage hugs, even if they’d rather not. I have to not take it personally. I have to believe that that they hear my messages. I have to follow my own gut and teach them the same.

So as you have probably gathered, I am not only a blogger but I am a mama. It’s my #1 job and I am so lucky and honored every time my boys call me mom.

Thank you for listening to my Saturday night ramblings. Every once in awhile, you might catch a bit of my real life stories and moments mixed in with the organizing, decorating, recipes and adventures.

What are you grateful for today?